Money is a Thing
Money is a Thing
Well, apparently money is really a thing and I had none for a while. So, I had to drop my website for a time, but it is back now along with me, myself, and Satan, so we are all good again...I think. With 2020 real hell on Earth, things could be really, really bad beyond the normal everyday horrors, but that can be good sometimes too when you already have been to hell in Vegas on Earth.
For some very wrong reason, I still feel the need to go to hell some days for like, you know, the usual medical crap like biochemical pharmaceuticals I supposedly need to be somewhat normal and other junk. My little sister lived in Vegas for years too so just having a little sister in general probably explains everything wrong with my life.
Anyhow, I will be updating this page and yes I am still working on that 13th novel of The Demon Heart Series although it is damn near done, so sorry about the long wait. It will be worth it, I swear it. I am dealing with a lot right now with my move as a Devil to Georgia which is pretty normal for a Devil to want to go to the deep south. Johnny lost his damn bet with his vanity and ego for agreeing to my wager over a gold-painted violin. It wasn't a total fib because it was a violin made with gold paint, so ya, fiddle made of like wood and gold he wanted to trade his soul for without realizing the very stupid thing he just did.
So, because I am a true hellion by birth, l know bringing even my hell upon anyone was a terrible idea and telling God to Bring It On last year, also a bad idea even if I am no longer sorry about it because people have done much worse things than I ever have in all of existence. Evolution and the devolution of mortals sort of thing of repeats and several records skipping of the past on the latest vinyl continually for centuries, millenniums, or eons up to the eventually true end of days. I'm sure our current chaos end of days has nothing to do with me telling the Universe and Almighty Maker to Bring It On. Our 2020 nightmare probably has to do with Ash/Bruce Campbell's Evil Dead Army of Darkness Necronomicon forgetfulness of important life-saving spells verbiage.
I haven't forgotten anyone I swear it. That is true if any truth was to be told the truth in this future which is now, not yesterday which is in the distant past so everyone needs to get over that by now.
Even if I forget myself most days on purpose for survival as my own worst enemy, I am constantly achieving victory over myself too. Flat floors, doors, furniture, appliances, and walls that randomly move on their own totally try to kill me also because of my great life skills of total destruction of my body parts. I seriously wanted to stub my toe on that chair today because pain makes me feel alive instead of dead inside which had become a full-time Goth lifestyle of mine I don't wish to completely give up. Life is just more chaotic than normal for my year of the rat 2020 which was supposed to go much better than it has.
I am 100% mentally disabled, so there is that issue I must contend with daily. Life, family, friends, and medical people are trying to kick my ass for nothing I ever did wrong just because I am right, sometimes, maybe.
I don't want to fuck cancer that apparently I don't have. I was wrongly told I had fucking cancer of all the stupid ass things to accuse me of having that has nothing to do with Zodiac signs or moon signs, but actual fucked up deadly cancer disease evilness. This misdiagnosis was from a medical professional, but that was a Mother of all Lies. I'm seriously waiting for the Father of Fibbers to kill or love me to DEATH at this point because nonstop misdiagnosis constant hell and other shit that must end.
Anyway, I am not desperate enough to want to even date cancer let alone fuck it. Let's just treat the symptoms of cancer so maybe it won't come back to try to fuck anyone again to death and perchance work to heal people from other diseases rather than letting people stupidly believe we are hams that can be cured of anything that always comes back to haunt us later.
Do not be a dead virus vaccine that our immune systems have to fight with words against, please. Our brains cannot handle more stupidity than we have now.
By the way for those who do not know, the true definition of a freaking vaccine, vaccines are dead viruses that are reintroduced into the human biosystem chemically for the physical body to use its natural immunity to stave off such diseases to prevent future infections of all life from such highly contagious deadly nasty horrors.
It is not a good idea to give anyone with a highly contagious bacterial virus that is killing people called evolved pneumonia that kills all ages of people every damn year and increased its deadly reign of terror because of wealthy travelers of all races spreading this shit like wildfire, a vaccine or a dead bacterial viral version of this Coronavirus. Creating a vaccine for Coronavirus would be reintroducing this deadly contagious bacterial infection back into the body to kill people faster with something that anyone who has ever had this kind of pneumonia knows will compromise the immune systems of people of all ages to destroy them not heal them.
Medical scientists are working on an antibacterial antiviral medication that will not destroy the healthy natural bacterias we need for survival but will hopefully work with the probiotics to make the antibacterial antiviral medication less invasive to the biochemical system of the human body for long term healing and extending the lives of many people who do not already have fatal conditions that have been deteriorating their immune systems and internal biology that cannot prevent eventual death due to known diseases that may cause natural or unnatural deaths even with all modern known preventative medical treatments.
Masks with social distancing, for now, are very needed to prevent this known now evolved deadly respiratory and biologically damaging disease from spreading because anyone can be a carrier of such contains even without symptoms until such becomes present possibly without the carriers' knowledge until it is too late. So, unless you wish to be a murdering, hateful, selfish prick, wear a damn mask when in public or if necessary around those who are high risk for such diseases as this monster.
Follow simple practices for your health also such as washing your hands, learning good hygiene, keep your home and air ducts for air conditioning clean from contaminants for everyone's health, check your home for mold in areas that are considered high humidity locations, and maybe think of other people than yourself until the antibacterial viral infectious health professional immunity experts can find something that will not overpower or harm people to help heal them which is gonna take time to find a working solution. Hopefully, we can be on top of the evolution of disease rather than behind the curve, but humans who work in the health field do their best with what they are given. All subjects needed for our future survival as a species need to be studied fully before new treatments, theories, or methods are used to save lives or improve all life on this living world we are blessed to have. Everyone needs to work together as a human race across the globe without shutting anyone out that may have the solution for many problems we all face.
Be helpful, kind, and thoughtful to each other rather than turning into annoying as hell, negative, pissy, big boobs, while treating people hatefully, destroying everyone's livelihood including your own. It is disturbing how so many humans are becoming violent insane fruitcakes living in your own damn universe, acting incredibly stupid, and being so damn disgustingly nasty. We all make mistakes, me included, and I have reasons to be a nasty evil bastard. I am the freaking devil apparently since my Mother finally recalled my true name and told me, not today Satan, which was a great moment for us. I thought she totally forgot who she gave birth to eons ago and that maybe I was not the entire book of Ecclesiastes come to life. I am many biblical terms in only the best ways.
Anyway, medical people are perverts who want you naked for no good reason only to tell you that you are wasting their time in the ER and to get the hell out after being given Walmart generic over the counter Ibuprofen that costs you and your insurance company thousands of dollar for two lousy pills you have to still buy yourself. Unless I am dead, don't send my ass to any Emergency room, I will simply just die in peace in Keanu Reeves shower or something equally impressive.
Oh, and never trust those Census people. There are too many idiots who ask wrongfully for too much personal information they did not rightfully earn when all we want to be is our own universe and world experts. No one gives a rats ass about the statistics of mortals we did not once ask anyone to inform us about so the government can make more money from everybody saying lies like they actually care about we the people by the people. The government none of us ever asked for and some medically wrong people who need to retake grade school from scratch again get their fake Master's Degrees as graduates of Quackerjack Box University.
I am not ever going to that Quack of a Univerity for any degree due to brain cell degeneration issues concerning these "always have to be right or I shall all die a bogus and heinous death" instructors, staff, and students. Some of us mere devilish hellions deserve a real education, not early brain cell death for the current zombie apocalypse that is going on right this second in someone's life right this second. I honestly believe we should close the entire universe down to fix the "stupidity pandemic" which is the for real health crisis we are facing every damn day we live. These Quacks that come out of the Zombie hoards cause highly contagious dumbness that we all might have to be quarantined for life for. Quackerjack University needs to be shut down forever for their very wrong insults to ducks which is total animal abuse that makes Mallards lose their privates trying to corkscrew their girlfriends and wive's personal wine bottles. Daffy Duck and Donald Duck should sue all Quacks for falsely representing and abusing animals along with their families.
Spreading the very contagious idiocy pandemic across the globe is the equivalent of giving everyone an ice-cold bubbly Corona Virus with Lime Disease that no one asked for or wants.
A good Irish Green Beer is one thing some people can indulge in that can enjoy bitter oats, herbs, and barley carbonated liquid forms of disdain and suffering deserve after a long hard day of peopling which should be illegal. I guess that even peopling must be done sometimes in moderation of course. Usually peopling should only be done at comic conventions, but I guess we need actual food and drinks sometimes to live. I do not know why we want to bother to have any life of our own when humans must exist to tell us how we are supposed to use our free will. Nothing is free apparently including free will or freedom to choose to do things that might be illegal or legal depending on the mortal morons you must suffer day in and out.
For hell's sake, because it is getting very crowded in the underworld and we may have to start complete obliterations for population control even in the afterlife, stop being so rotten you human brats because now you are pissing off God, not just me! Please use moderation for everything you gluttonous sinful messed up fools I love very much for some unknown reason.
Oh, and for you, drunk pains in our asses, cease thinking your sexy when you are that fucked up for the prevention of beer breath sloppy nasty kisses, inappropriate groupings of yourself because you had your car keys taken away for life, loss of all coordination, passing out before anything exciting can ever happen, early deaths of all your favorite naughty parts, and vomit death spillage of wrongness. Tipsy is fine and fun but schnockered off your ass means you are now the fucking problem you drunk moron pain in everyone's anal regions. No one asked for you to date rape or harass their brains, so stop it if you wish to live one second longer.
No worries mortals. I may have to kill you all later for our survival in this physical terrible existence I for some damned reason must endure. Don't make me find a way to murder you legally because any police officer and those judges who are not so freaking judgemental should agree to our self-defense pleas for having offed you from this life for good and not in a fun way.
Some of us can't even enjoy alcoholic beverages that don't have bubbles, because of medications. I didn't want to be a bubbly or carbonated hellion with extra celibacy sticking to me anyway. I am trying to end the increases in the world's scales concerning my single life album by decreasing my attitude problems attached to my ass, gut, and hips. Besides, I am already on too damn many super fun legal prescription medications that are part of the Prohibition Movements of my very existence.
Sorry, there is nothing beyond the nope of anything remotely fun or exciting in my personal life. Until I get a life, I will just stay dead, pissed, and skip my ass to the loo too damn many times in the middle of the night for anyone's sanity. Insomnia isn't a medical condition for some of us, it is a regular everyday lifestyle of the old and the restless. I'm sure I will make it to the General Hospital someday for a necessary lobotomy in the future and surgical bad attitude removal to become a vegetable to make the Vegans happy that they can do violence to a meat-eater through regular vegetable murder. That carrot was much more valuable and larger before Jared and Kay got ahold of the poor thing to put a ring on it for their stirfry marriage.
If you have the distinct nightmare and horror of meeting me in person, for your mental and physical wellbeing, you might just want to say No, Stop it, and cease your bullshit Margie/Satan. Usually, this happens on my first meetings with random strangers I talk the ears off of where I annoy myself too and then must leave before I ruin my own life without any help from myself.
Even my 6 regular alters including legions but not including the three nightmares that cause my psychotic episodes unpredictably totally agree with my Superego telling my Id and Ego no. Normally no from the superego means, I am not supposed to buy any more novelty t-shirts, cute clothing, shoes, boots, cosplay stuff, action figures, and Animations I do not need, but do need for reasons. My drawers, closet, and shelves are full of unnecessary thingies I love more than my wallet and bank accounts that have to go to therapy now because they feel empty and soulless much like most Gingers.
I don't drink, don't smoke, but Adam and his Ants stole my Goody Two Shoes with his catchy Rick Rolling types of earworm songs. I need to be Rickrolled again very soon because I love that song or pickle Ricked. I can live with either of those two options with limits. I often dance with myself like Billy Idol does all the time too. I am not too worried about it if no one wants to date me, dance with me, and sing with along me everywhere good songs need me the most. I wouldn't date me or kiss me because I already have my own rabies and do not need more. I would prefer to get a sexy man's cooties from the right guy, but someone named "The One" hasn't shown up yet and all the men I approved myself to date are in Hollywood married or about to married to people that are not me.
The entire congregation singing Sympathy for the Devil in harmony as hymn number 696 at a Christian church during communion (if I want to torment myself in such a place called a church) might be a lifelong fantasy of mine as the newest Devilish Number 1 Temptations Hit of this Satan's life. I also need a good musical mix of fame, fortune, and a sexy boyfriend aka future husband who wants pure hell from me. There has to be some poor shmuck who wants me to rock their world with brimstone and hellfire rightness.
Hey, all the thingies and doohickies I NEED in life and just want could happen for me so don't judge me or throw stones at me because that shit hurts. I have faith and hope for all sorts of totally necessary unnecessary stuff I probably shouldn't have that I want to own, cherish, and love to death will come forth in some blessing of sorts from the Universe or the lottery jackpots I am going to win.
By the way, people who are married and have someone who might love them, marriage hasn't ever been to the death, but to the end of your relationship hell. Usually, one person in the equation dies first, and then the leftover person is like, thank God that nightmare is now over. They have their alone time for about ten minutes of bawling in happiness that there isn't any more nagging bullshit only to sob even more that there isn't any more nagging bullshit. Then they also croak with Azrael saying, well that was rude to burp in his face as Death for taking their life and no one is grateful for their suffering to be over.
Do you know why this is a fact? Because I have died twice and if you die you might end up stuck with all the people you despised in some heaven like hell you wrongly prayed for with nonstop harp music or whatever until everyone decides you have suffered enough so you can move forward to peaceful nothingness only to wonder where the hell everyone went like the ungrateful createns you are.
Actually, I did not have to people with anyone in death in the afterlife or real-life humans when I was dead at all. I had to Archangel and God and Universe with no freaking humans which was a total relief. I also did not have to hear any music that might change to something wrong to warp me further than I am already warped. I like that future in death and hope to join them all again with no humans to be seen anywhere so we can make something better, new, improved, colorful, sparkly, and maybe less destructive than most physical life if that is ever possible in any universe including Chamuel's klepto sentient sock world where octopus faced cats send entire bags of crew cut socks from my son James's room that magically disappear into the portal to that world.
When you say the words, "I do take this man or woman as my spousal partner for eons of pure chaotic hell" or wrongly claim them as your legal "husband/wife" in the vows of any partnership in crime or marriage, it means you are supposed to get a kinky ball and chain thing with someone that you are supposedly supposed to love for all eternity and beyond. This vow means you have to love each other to death or kill one another with the words you agreed to in your legal marriage contract with the unknown universe and people of Earth.
If you are completely insane and stupid, you possibly got hitched to someone you think is normal enough to marry without a prenuptial contract to save your ass or their ass with if they are actually a criminal serial killer of your wallet and bank accounts. "I do" in those vows seriously means that you will vow to murder this person you chose to be stuck with by your own drunken choices eventually with your annoying habits and very presence.
This is the honest to God true vocabulary definition of husband or wife that is completely original and has not been plagiarized at all by any dictionary in the universe although we plagiarize and reuse words all the damn time to be understood in communication, so get over it haters of words:
Husband and Wife are now defined perfectly and accurately by the Hellish Margie Jones Dictionary of Total Truth: marriage by definition means that two willing partners in brain trauma agreed to unite as partners in crime for a very expensive ceremony no one could afford or wanted other than the bridezilla or groomzilla. The unfortunate suckers that are often cisgender men who have to pay for fucking everything their partners do not want to or will do just wanted to elope for damn good reasons to save money without switching car insurance. The new spouses from both parties agreed in their marriage contract they wanted more than life itself to purposely allow their wives or husbands, or multiple gender toasters to torture them into a permanent relationship for life with their paychecks and bank accounts, not the actual person they're married to now, making these poor fools get rid of all their great cool stuff including the porn while making these men and occasional females deal with the entire family and their new wife's or husband's bitchy stupid friends for all eternity and beyond.
The human couple no matter their gender or if they are an inanimate object that by law humans can marry are now contracted under governmental legal possible wrongness for the rest of their unnatural lives until a savior is found in a good divorce attorney and maybe reasonable child support if birth control doesn't work in anyone's favor including the poor unfortunate children. Children of the newly married couple must suffer their moronic parents bitching about their existence too for making the parents have to be responsible for more than themselves which they were not that responsible with anyone including themselves before children were even brought into this equation. Having to be born to humans who can't keep their body parts to themselves may be asking too much from the children, not the supposed adults who want to blame everyone for their problems and have everyone except themselves raise their own children in ways that are less brain-damaging to the kids.
In addition to this contract, the couple of lovestruck mortals that are newlyweds are now attached to each other at the hip with superglue that cannot be removed with adhesive remover because they wanted that shit too until the honeymoon phase is over which will cause random vomiting of the sickeningly sweet disgustingness of said couple for possibly years until someone actually kills both parties to end random irritable brain syndrome from the unsuspecting innocent public that doesn't deserve pure hell most days, only sometimes. Eventually, the newly married couple will kill the romance by acting like any normal married couple of haters of each other with regular bickering which must follow with the vow of to the death do they part possibly in a righteous divorce pissing off everyone for torturing both friends and family in the first place with making them love people they did not even approve of to being with.
All children and all other unwilling victims of bickering couple bitchiness up until possible legal or illegal death as vowed are automatically absolved of any wrongdoing since they did not tell these people to get married, to begin with.
A second definition for marriage is Two people who said "I do" in some very wrong way that they wish they didn't ever do in any legal contract and wish to God that they just tried illegally instead. A future divorce in the making is the only way for everyone to save themselves from their worst nightmares unless for some odd reason the legal agreement works in everyone's favor and at least one person that is not a big baby not including the children is actually happy in their hell.
Definition of divorce of a marriage or absolution to freedom of single online dating again: A couple of people who did want to do things with one another for all eternity and murder one another eventually, now don't want to do each other anymore. A supposed grown adult who thought having a spouse was a great idea and then decided one day that they might actually want to live and have a life without answering to anyone except everyone else beyond their irritating spouse.
A divorce normally follows with child separation anxiety even for the adults not married to the couple who keep telling family and friends information they never wanted to know in their entire lives who cannot unsee this evil. A divorce between two consenting adults usually happens to people who shouldn't have consented for the sake of their children let alone anyone else who must deal with their constant bullshit.
Another definition of a full-time commitment that may also be a marriage or end in such a horrifying nightmarish way: A person of any gender, who by law who is a willing cohort of marriage or a steady committed relationship that ends their unending, miserable, very sad at the time loneliness that they wished they would have just accepted and seen as the true blessings it was as single person. Someone who wanted to cherish, love, and adore someone, but now all they want is to be left the fuck alone, become a hermit for life, and not date anyone forevermore no matter how attractive someone seems because they are or were married to pure evil.
There is nothing negative at all about any of these things I have written because I am the epitome of positivity and positive lifestyle choices. I have an entire memory bank of possibilities that are very positive without hurting my future husband and young adult children with too much karaoke dance clubbing people to death.
I will happily, with a prenup say to the man I wish to marry maybe, "I do wish to kill you my love and cause you royal hell every single day very much in a legal binding ceremony of death and horrors". I will love my future hell spawn minion/husband with all the compassion, understanding, and safe words for him I might be capable of in my little black heart and soul. This is the most loving bluntly truthfully honest to God vow to make on your kinky chain ball thingie day to your loved one in front of all your and his/her family/friends/preacher/etc. on your wedding day.
If you wish to know more about me, musically, certain 70s, 80s, 90s, and only some of the 2000s music in only certain genres of songs are my happy places. Music is the eyes of the soul or ears or some metaphoric mature audience advisory warning since people need to know I will indeed sing and dance to a great song no matter where we happen to be or who is around most of the time.
I do not sit on my laurels or Laurel's laurels because of sexual harassment possibilities and no interest in the female persuasions in such ways. I have girl crushes as in I would love to look like certain people and I appreciate the beauty of life in all its forms, but I adore men, find certain males incredibly sexy, and always will.
I must admit with this whole social distancing stuff, my life has not changed so far one iota. Having to be in lockdown too long in my own home driving my youngest adult son insane who lost his job tragically is our normal pattern for now until we move to Georgia and James finds a job to build his own independence as my other young adult sons have. I swear I have not confiscated James's airsoft guns or our sharp thingies to put a cap in people's asses yet or get stabby with them. We need those things just in case of infidel terrorists trying to stop me from not knowing when to quit.
I've had two surgeries in less than a year and possibly more coming. So, if I am still alive and sexy as fuck Archangel Azrael with the Univeral Maker of us All allows me to torment this world for several more years, just know you asked for it.
I am trying to be here for everyone I love and those I have not loved yet I have yet to torture with my presence and great personality. But, the other side, deadsville, where I did go when I died twice in my life is so much better than this mess of physical life on Earth and sadly, I was happier dead than I have ever been while alive.
For me, death wasn't earworm music hellish heaven nor did I see my dead ancestors who sometimes speak to me telepathically or mentally. I can't explain these things very well, it just isn't that easy. Some visions and things are regular dejavu or very true, where others are delusions of grandeur that are not worth dwelling on as truth.
The dead and Celestian kind tend to speak to all of us in their own ways who look beyond the physical and open our minds or horizons to see the full truth of all life including the afterlife. Image isn't of value to me and the physical does truly get left behind along with all the crap you buy for someone to give away, sell, or whatever is left after true death you can do nothing about because you are too dead enjoying your death to care about jack shit.
I am ok with visualizing what is necessary to help myself and others without always needing unnecessary random nonsense of what must supposedly be manifested through me for those who need it most in their lives. I may not ever meet those people, and if I do I will relay the messages as best I can without hopefully freaking anyone out. Anyone has these capabilities of knowing things without overthinking so much if they dispel illusions of the physical world to actually see the truth and see right through what they think is true that is often the biggest most hurtful lie when the truth of the lie is revealed.
I would much rather hear from my ancestors or others who died than seeing dead people in apparition for which happens at times too. All apparitions and spirits are is old memories of the energy that fuels us like a battery manifested into the realm of the physical as the chemical, liquid, matter, and all the things that continue life forward with the rest of that energy we dispel in death used as a creative force for other possible life, as part of our own universe beyond our world, or another dimensional universe about to be born with new life, new worlds, and maybe possibly new galaxies that expand our own every expanding cosmos. Life beyond death in spirit form is just energy memories that have no life of their own except to continue what will be for this little living planet and sustain it until either new life begins, ends, or starts over. Death is existence as a completely different type of energy chemical source that keeps the exotic resistance and inertia driven forces of the universe in motion. This is the power of the actual energy force of a soul that has transcended into what may for many be timeless creative exploration and universal creation.
When you cease overcomplications of problems and many things, solutions can come through many things such as random studies, social experimentation, universal body language, dreams, emotions, gut feelings, or words of our ancestors when you tune into the universe and cease only living in your own world. None of what I know means I am suddenly a gifted psychic even if there is truth in all things including some divination. There is truth everywhere just as there is truth in some lies that these are lies, to begin with. We learn, grow, try not to repeat mistakes, and become hopefully better versions of ourselves while still having fun without harm to anyone.
All joking aside, I do not wish to harm anyone even if I say harsh things as we all do. I hope we as a human race can fix our mistakes, repent for our wrongdoing, laugh a little, cry a little, and find blessings within each soul without assuming weakness for true strength in love, acceptance, and the things that will save us that so many wrongly fear rather than embrace. It is very true that no one has to defend themselves when we learn to control our words and actions. It is a simple concept spoken of in literature, history, religion, science, verbal communication, and many forms of media that is merely simple common sense.
My first spoken words as a human were I know, no, and yes. The words Mom or Dad took more time for me to say as words slowly became and are my very real addiction. I love unique rarely used words even if I do not use them myself, just to add to my collections as possibilities to use in some future tense.
The words "I know, yes, and no", were very powerful words to start life with for any young child. These same words will or can get you in a shit ton of trouble sometimes too. If you want to know about my moments with the Divine Unknown and the Archangels on all sides, contact me via email or you can reach me sometimes on social media Facebook.
If you wish for me to express my thoughts, feelings, and words, be warned please that if my words don't matter to you that you specifically asked for and you are unwilling to attempt to understand my meanings even when I reword my statements to make things less complicated for everyone more than once, pay attention to, research the full meanings of things you do not understand without judgments, or if you choose not to listen to what I say verbally to you rather than just hear what you will, then why should I share my words? I will not share my personal thoughts, feelings, actions, and precious words with those who are abusive, hurtful, and who will assume things that are far from true about me or the people I love.
My novels are not just for the world to pick apart and cast judgments at my personal character for things I have not ever done. My books I publish, write as fanfictions, or share are often my form of constructive therapy for sometimes the very unwanted thoughts I did not once ask for I transfer into fiction in an entertaining fashion. The trigger warnings I have added to my manuscripts are for your benefit before you choose to delve into such dark multi-genre worlds. I place trigger warnings, cite my sources, give credit where credit is due, and share my worlds with the select few who choose to buy my works or read them that can handle these universes of devils I write about. The wickedly devilish beings I use in my stories have no real existence in my life or beyond it other than in fantasy books I write. I put the trigger warnings in my books and explain enough in the synopsis before someone chooses to follow the path into my darkness, the taboo erotisim that also disturbs me which is why I needed a constructive outlet due to 46 years of abuse I have suffered and counting. I also have quite a bit of light-hearted humor in my sometimes quick wited humor for a very good reason because balance is needed when dispair is found even in fiction. I hide nothing of the worlds in which my readers enter long before they buy my books.
The stories I publish and randomly write can be extremely dark, disturbing, fun, silly, adventurous, and many things, but my readers need to be fully aware of what they are getting into. Much of my writing really is constructively therapeutically working through the very dark nightmarish recesses of my mind to find a constructive healthy balance from too damn many years of abusive hell that I do someday hope to find an end without Death coming for me before I've completed the work set before me by the Universe. I have unfinished business apparently, and thus I will finish what must be done hell or high water. Very few people get two chances to return to the living once an expiration of physical life is over, so I am doing my best to complete whatever is needed for those who need me most.
I was an innocent victim to abusive monsters who don't appear as monsters that claimed to be human and are nothing of the sort as a child and as an adult. I was not even of speaking age when my hell came for me without warrant or cause. I was an innocent 2 year old baby that had to suffer unimaginable abusive pain in every way from someone who was supposed to care and love me as his little baby girl. I've suffered verbal, physical, sexual, and the list goes on and on for what sometimes feels like a hellish eternity with my nonstop suffering.
My son and I decided to find our peace hopefully in Georgia if that is even a possibility. I have stood up for myself, changed from who I once was, I am not the same person after coming back again from the dead. I personally had to make the decision to say fuck this abusive bullshit from a world who could care less that I even died or that I even exist. I am not taking the kind of garbage I have had to for years from anyone anymore because I deserve better and so do many others including my young adult sons.
I am going to live the best life I can, do the things I love, and even if that means I die alone or not find a partner in life to be my husband or boyfriend, that is fine. I've died alone before twice and the last thing in the universe I fear is the afterlife with lovely magnificent gorgeous Death Himself Azrael waiting with all the Celestians with open arms for me when my time comes.
Humanity will be what they will be, but I wish to be much more and become useful, helpful, and somehow end the unnecessary suffering no one needs even if I cannot save the cosmos or everyone from their normal suffering. Even if I save one life, one person, and I make their life better while fixing what I can of my mistakes, my fuck ups, than I have done well for us all. I have always felt like an outsider anyway looking in, not fitting in anywhere like a random piece of a puzzle that doesn't belong on the playing field of Earth. I felt more at home with my true family, the Celestial beings who have always supported me, been there for me, accepted me, that are often misunderstood, that are blamed for things they have not ever done. Humans and our own evolution cause the majority of our problems which can be solved by simply using our minds, words, and actions for better things than destroying the balance we must keep to see the blessings so many people tragically ignore on a daily basis.
Real-life monsters, the true devils of lore and all faiths, are parasite infested, soul-sucking, putrid, hateful, abusive evil very human ugliness behind the image of mortals playing false gods, abusing power, showing their cowardice and weakness by destroying themselves and everything they touch or encounter. Your inner devils are yourselves and the true evil is when you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and see the human that once existed because it is no longer there. You killed your own light by judging others wrongly, hurting them by speaking for others including that which gave us all our blessings to destroy someone all in the name of your false gods. No one has the right to force faith or belief or take away the gift of free will choice without consequences that are unfathomable hell for the lack of mercy that humanity shows when the beast within becomes very real.
I know that almost everyone at one point in their life or another has suffered from these disgusting monsters who do not act human at all and some people rather than learning from their hellish experiences, choose to become abusive worm-ridden filth themselves to continue the cycle of horrors upon innocent lives or even not so innocent lives that still do not deserve such a fate.
The human parasitic monster looks nothing like a horror movie slasher villain and they should not be praised by anyone for their utterly boring pathetic excuse of poor free-will choice to harm people for no other reason than the sick pleasure of getting away with their putrid smell nastiness. These kinds of diseased incurable worms are destroyers of all that is good in any life and they try to infect everyone else they encounter that they can manipulate with their infectious disease, sell their literal bullshit to, charm like a slithering leech, control others like puppets on hooks once they dig their nasty claws into your flesh to tear you apart from the inside out, and hurt as many people in every possible way as long as they get away with their garbage to force their unwilling victims into pure hell.
These thoughtless, heartless, soulless fiends of everyone's worst nightmares are highly addicted to controlling, abusing, or murdering someone they see as weaker than themselves like the slimeball pathetic pansy cowards they are. Child and adult predators are evil filled tapeworm infected control freak unnatural drug addicts of abuse and death of all lifeforms they can hurt without the need for illegal or legal substances. These fiends of hell hope to get away with these horrors they fully well know they have done wrong.
Once caught and prosecuted for their crimes, these maggots cry like babies making multiple pathetic unbelievably irresponsible immature excuses for as long as possible until someone sees right through their lies and fake misery ending their existence in society hopefully permanently for all of our sakes. The last thing murders, abusers, and criminals of all kinds want to do is accept full responsibility for their wrongdoings because everyone and everything else is at fault for their fucked up behaviors they are not even "sorry" for, despite their false truths that they won't do such things again because everyone knows if they were not caught in the act, these bastards would keep doing their wrong for as long as they live as long as they could get away with their crimes. If criminals can keep getting away with their crimes towards anyone, anyone with a brain damn well knows would keep abusing anyone they wanted to, stealing people blind, burning the world down, destroying everything they touch, and killing people by the droves.
Monsters tend to enjoy their short or long-lived fame no one should support in the slightest. We need to learn from the past, not keep repeating those mistakes. Predator parasites often feed off of negative feedback as a brand new addition to add to their other chosen nasty addictions seeing any attention at all as positive instead of what a fucking nightmare they are really are to those who suffered them. Anyone who has seen these parasites up close damn well knows the ugliness behind the false image. Promoting evil and not allowing those who have done very wrong to fully pay back society, their victims, and the world for their crimes is just a way to create new victims for the fodder of the masses.
I want to be quite clear to those that allow the darkness this kind of addictive infestation to consume them to feed their inhuman evil actions to use them against anyone even once, you cannot ever be cured by therapy, pills, or even surgeries. There is repentance for many things, but doing something as unforgivable as destroying someone's life without true remorse willingly, there is not enough apologies, money, or forgiveness in the entire universe for harming people who have done nothing to warrant such especially innocent children who or animals who cannot fight a fully grown adult human. Even abusing, murdering, and using adults trying to steal their souls with your nastiness is unforgivable and it does not mean weakness or it is wrong or brave to forgive anyone who has done such unforgivable monstrous things that even God, what people choose or choose not to believe in, condemns your lack of mercy since the laws of mercy are always true. One way or another you will reap what you have sewn, and justice will be served. Living in your own hell you brought upon yourself is not about vengeance, not more violence or abuse, but about true justice and the end of suffering for all life who needs their peace from the evils done to them by the free will choices of the merciless who do not deserve their time of peace until they learn how mercy really works.
Choosing to live your life in complete darkness, or blinding people through your false ignorant forceful radiance that is truly pitch black, is blindness to the realities of your lack of balance by your own choice. Too many people chose to use their gift of free will badly. No one has the right to control others, abuse power they not once truly had, play false prophets for their personal idol worshiping blaspheme to all the good things in life, and go about life casting stones at everyone different then they are they can hurt while enjoying someone else's suffering immensely to play the blame game of hurting more innocent lives if these kinds of monsters are allowed to continue doing as they will. Love isn't wrong and if someone is not harming you, leave them the hell alone and show your mercy when necessary rather than slamming doors in everyone's face. Expect if you continue this destructive behavior, the next door to slam in your face is your own doing and I hope it breaks your nose and shatters your jaw so maybe you learn from this kind of pain you promoted towards your own species.
Only the wicked and evil of this world will put themselves above everyone and they will wrongly believe that death through suicide or allowing others to have to destroy their lives for the lives they've ruined will allow them to get away with their sick twisted wickedness. The laws of mercy will prevail even after death and those who do not learn these laws will learn these things the hard way in their own hell even after death for the justice of their victims. We all get our justice and peace when we earn these things in full by doing our best not to hurt others even if words sometimes need to be said or actions must be taken to defend our lives because some people just never learn a damn thing no matter how many times they make the same very wrong mistakes.
I am not perfect, I have made mistakes I regret. I do apologize to those I have upset or made to feel uncomfortable. I have not purposely lifted a hand to harm anyone other than by defending myself or by accident. I do not like hurting anyone, but I also won't just sit back and take anything from abusive hateful people either. I have been treated as a slave, owned by people who should know better, used, abused, hated for just existing, screamed at, bullied, I had people call me horrible names, degrade me, and I was treated as less than a human. I have been a piece of meat, only good enough to use and throw away or I was too fat for anyone to bother with. I was an embarrassment, I was to be seen not to be heard, and the list goes on. But, I know I am worth something more than people assume of me and my life has meaning at least to the Universe if to no one else. I trust that truth no matter the naysayers no matter the name-calling. I do love all life in the entire universe and beyond, but I sure as hell do not love what many creations of physical life on Earth do. I hate that parasite within every mortal and I want to destroy it with every fiber of my being. That thing too lives in me and I thrust it down with a vengeance to keep balance within even in my sometimes chaotic stressful life.
There is hope, faith, love, acceptance, and all the good things when we work towards things together united, equal, and in balance, with all the creative forces of the cosmos. There is always the proven true promise, our suffering really will end no mater your belief or your nonbelief even though all life prays to something for needs, wants, and for suffering to end, so I give that which I pray to the name God because it is at least something that many of us do understand in different ways. I have not ever lost my belief or fellowship with mankind, I just changed things for my life because I cannot take judgemental congregations and false belief that our problems cannot be solved with our own hard work when we allow the Angels, mortal or otherwise help us when we feel lost.
Letting go of the deep-rooted fears of the unknown to free ourselves of the physical into becoming what we were always meant to be, even in this very difficult trial of living a physical existence and doing the right thing always even when it is extremely difficult to do so, can be both frustrating and very freeing.
Hateful and hurtful people tend to love to blabbermouth their evil deeds like it is some great accomplishment eventually to someone who is their victim who they abuse, sometimes an authority figure to try to be recognized in fame for their evil, or from something that manifested from their mind that they know full well isn't fascinating in the slightest. It is utterly boring how easy it is to destroy life when saving life, being trustworthy, showing honesty, and accepting love for all the good things that actual love is rather than lust and infatuation only, takes true skill and bravery.
Many of those who destroy themselves along with others many times know from their own personal experience how painful and devastating abuse is because some of them have suffered from such things and did not learn one thing from it sadly. These monsters do know how wrong it is to causing others pain, and they know if they have suffered no matter how into pain they are or how narcissistic they may be, not to hurt anyone else.
Everyone has limits including high tolerance pain narcissists. It is very true that everyone has a breaking point and if you push anyone hard enough they will find your weak point to hurt you in ways you cannot fathom sometimes without ever lifting a single harmful hand against anyone. Justice can be served without the need for violence other than if those who serve and protect all nations' lives or innocent lives are in danger. Confessions and gathering information can be done without hours of dramatics or getting absolutely nowhere with people who have seemed to have lost every single brain cell they ever had. I could very well help with these things because sometimes people confess all sorts of things out of the blue to me that I never asked for or they want me to shut up so they can talk finally because if I am annoying myself I know I am the problem which the solution can be a confession to make me quit blabbering on for eons. Could be a lot of fun and quite time consuming without destroying evidence, mucking with problems with legal paperwork, and so forth.
In most cases, no one should push to the point we know we too are behaving abusively in our words. I regret many things I have said and some of the things I have done to upset people. I too have a right to be heard and to defend myself if need be, so I am not going to apologize for things I have not ever done to anyone in my life.
I am sure everyone can agree that if no one acted like royal dicks to one another then no one has to defend themselves or get hurt by anyone. We can control our own actions and although it is hard when angry or hurting to control our words, we all need to improve on these things and fix what we have broken hopefully before it is too late for all of us.
Film students, Hollywood and other production Studios, and news stations, or those who work in the media. In all seriousness, there reall is nothing remotely fascinating at all about the monsters of this world other than how to end their reigns of terror and not promote it. These kinds of abusive cowards always, always think they are better than anyone else and that they can keep abusing their power over anyone they want to because they have done such things multiple times before.
The bravest, smartest, strongest of people, who are loving, honest, and fearless heroes, including people who come forward to end their own horrible abuse, will conquer their fears to end everyone's hell including their own. Those still suffering will have me and others as their warriors, their survivors of hell to fight the battles if needed for them. I have your back and I will stand firm to fight always for the right even when it may condemn me to death to defend those who need it most. I will end this unneeded suffering for all those who ask it of me or need it of me if it is the last thing I do on this Earth even if I cannot do this alone and it may be only a temporary solution to a serious problem that must end permanently for all of us.
I am a survivor warrior for others like me even though you always feel alone, misunderstood, afraid, angry, in horrible pain, begging anyone to save you, and you feel like there is no hope at all when you are being abused. It can feel impossible and frightening to leave or even ask for help in an abusive situation when anyone forces their will on you to make you helpless. I've been there many, many times. It feels hopeless and frightening when you lose complete control of a situation you cannot always fix no matter how much or how badly you wish it. I am doing phenomenally better now than I have in my life, but nothing is perfect, my mental illness is a permanent fixture, and nothing changes mentally with certain things no matter how much therapy I receive. I cannot change the past, but I sure as hell can learn from it and change my own destiny and life as well as the lives of those who give me a chance to be their dragon slayer, friend, family, and someone who knows full well what hell on Earth feels like.
Our actions and words very much matter and should have meaning. If you want your life to have meaning, clarity, and balance, help yourself and others by fighting for it with me. Many things that feel impossible have possibilities and solutions, I will help you find the answers to your questions and problems if you open your mind, heart, soul, pay attention, listen, and use whatever great advice you receive for good things you want or need in your life.
And furthermore, why the hell is my house freezing one moment and then overheated the next. Is this a test of the emergency broadcast home warranty fuck ups again?
I miss the blank slate universe I was in when I was dead the first time that as an artist I want to add light and color too with the greatest beings of all time. I am glad I am back in the living with my loved ones, friends, family, and all of my readers whom I hope you do find some humor in my darkness because it does need light and color for the full balance or self and soul.
I don't want to leave a mess behind for everyone or my readers frustrated because my son James ain't a writer and my other sons are not writers either. I think my sons, niece, and family all are aliens. My children, family, and friends who know me best probably do believe sometimes that it should be illegal for anyone to deal with me when either I have an attitude or they do which is why especially my son James wants to go back to his home planet which apparently is not Earth.
Life has been kind of crazy lately trying to now sell my beautiful home that is not close enough to the VA medical care I need even if the traffic is amazing here, my home is amazing with all the space I want, my neighbors are good people, and I love my peace and quiet. I have a lot going on right now with my health and home among a billion other things.
My brain doesn't ever shut up and neither do I sometimes. I hope to change some of those things and I am also not quite as fluffy marshmallow sized as I used to be. I have lost around 118 pounds in a little over a year and I am still slowly dropping weight and inches. I hope to drop more weight and less food on myself, so we will see how that goes.
Once again thank you all for your patience and understanding as I totally revamp this website to my specifications and you will visit my lonely devilish craziness sometimes to see what's up.
Please, if you love me, send me a sexy single male celebrity who wants a very good hellish devil of a time if you know them. I don't really want sex so much for that very good time right away. I need time to let my pelvic floor muscles heal from horrible damage to them via abusive hell I'm not going into, but I am a snack-sized hellion and sexy men who want to date me in the celebrity and noncelebrity parts of Earth did ask for some hell and a lot of fun when they were older and younger and older again.
I will always love men and be attracted to them even if blue balls might have to occur for a while until I am seriously ready for more than just friend zone and make out high school Sweet Valley High boring teenage romance sessions. Most adults are just overgrown teenage hormonal insane asylums most days who switch commonly (no matter who they are attracted to depending on who you know) between hobbies such as porn, video games, expensive toys, and nutty pointy sexually weird looking things with sex, food, sex, etc.
I have nothing against most kinks people enjoy within reason. There is nothing wrong with those of us who want to have fun and enjoy our lives without hurting anyone except in our video, Anime sessions, collectibles, comics, and DMing for role-playing games. Mortals no matter their ages are just a bunch of overgrown toddlers who will not ever grow up. It is sadly quite true that sometimes you cannot make adults act responsibly even for their sakes and survival.
For those who truly love me when I need it most, thank you very much. I do not wish to force myself on anyone. I am doing my best to treat others how I wish to be treated and how we all should respect one another.
If for reasons anyone actually say to me that they wanted to raise hell and have fun, it is go time. Here I am, so come and get your well deserved hell of a good time or just pure hell. I was born to be a snack-sized hellion to rule this hell we are in while showing people how mercy really works for those who forgot those rules and laws.
I emphatically apologize, not for being the Devil Herself of course, but for being so super busy most days ruling my own universal hell and for being late in everyone's lives when you need me like right now per chance.
Having to do the dirty work at times for those not willing to sully their hands was not my fault for doing my job or not doing it yet, but I swear to God (not blasphemy I promise God) I will do at least some of this life right this time. I look damn good for being around damn near 1000 some odd years ruling this world that I don't actually rule just yet.
I can't help but tempt shawmen, preachers, bishops, theologists, animals, people, plants, and their fluffy flocks whom I should not influence to do very bad things like making people admit or speak the truth because that is so wrong to some people I guess. I can be a great influence on children, just ask my own messed up young adult kids who love me. No filter or tact ever.
Everyone should just let me do their tarot card readings for life that I do freely at home for a good time. There is also nothing wrong with telling Scientologists they are lost souls not actual Scientists without a degree in actual real Science.
I am both pure hell and fun. I promise I will just be friends with all kinds of people, but mostly with famous people if they don't restrain me from the public. I was let out without a leash, collar, and my shots while left unsupervised so blame the humans for letting me out without a sexy male escort I can date. If the hot men of this world are willing to date the nightmare I can be by their own free will choices, we will work on the kinkiness of our relationships, I mean...totally smooth those kinks right out and whip them into shape. I have baggage and I will travel? Anyone?
Don't kink shame people for their religious belief choices, what humans do with their holy books in the privacy of their homes is their business and they should keep it that way.
Anyone who has read my The Demon Heart Series Novels will totally understand the above reference for the 13th book.
Sebastian Midnight Black Cross thanks you for your time.